just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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