wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
