I just cut my nipple shaving
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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