RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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