I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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