North Korea, Best Korea!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
