i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
be right there i have to get my cape
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
