Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The uberlube is also flammable
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
