If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
