I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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