their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
