PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
