you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
