we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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