she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
