your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize