So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
