There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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