I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
