i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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