Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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