how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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