good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
