dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So much rum. So many feels.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
