I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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