these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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