I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
