She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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