we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
