I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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