someone owes me an orgasm
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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