You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
