Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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