summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
