You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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