My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
