I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
