bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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