this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
