how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
