would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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