i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
