My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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