At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
