Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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