I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
