Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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