how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
