Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
COCAINE IS GR8
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