nut hugger
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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