So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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