they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
