my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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