Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
