There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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