i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
