They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
