Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
