Four minutes until I can fart!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
