I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
