fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
