Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
