I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
