I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
