Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
