break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
